Personality deficient Scarlett Johansson has attempted to make a cover album which is released today. Taking it’s title from a song off the truly marvellous album Rain Dogs, “Anywhere I lay my Head” consists entirely of Tom Waits covers.
The fact that she can’t sing will only be the beginning of your frustration in listening to this album. Not content in sucking all soul and meaning form these great songs, Scarlett, whose vocals are so low in the mix it’s as if they’ve been recorded on a walkman, somehow manages to twist the melancholy, broken down and wandering-lost central theme of Waits’ career into a vacuous vanity project.
Here’s the video for Falling down, which contains some inspired imagery to go with the reworked classic such as Scarlett having her hair done, Scarlett having her make up done and Scarlett blowing some bubble gum on a bus…
Doing magic shows for television has meant that we sometimes get to perform our illusions for real celebrity guests (although, technically, sawing a woman in half is murder up until the point you put the halves back together again. )
Here is a list of the top 5 UK celebrities that, given the opportunity, we would love to ambush with our violent guerilla magic.
5. Piers Morgan
It’s the totally unqualified “Britain’s got Talent” judge Piers Morgan, or as ‘Private Eye’ magazine refer to him “Piers Moron”. For someone who claims to be an authority on talent and celebrity, he seems to be making his talent and reason for becoming a celebrity simply being unable to get along with people.
Anyone who remembers the film series “The Wishmaster” might remember that you really should be careful what you wish for because you will get it in the most gory and horrific way.
Stuart’s money might just make its way back into his pocket through an elaborate system of razor wires, hooks and other dodgy special effects.
It’ll be the best gig you’ll go to in your life. Here are some highlights from the Tom Waits press conference which details his route through the US and alludes to him touring Europe, from Spain to Dublin.
I find it fairly offensive whenever TV tries to muscle in on the great community that is the population of the internet. It fundamentally changes the power structure. The internet is a great leveller, where each of us has a voice. Whether or not we get listened to is another matter.
However, more offensive than television getting in on the 2.0 action, is the scrotum sweat advertisers ripping a testicle off the genuinely inventive internet populous. Have a look at the new TV advert for the “ fun, healthy way to get more vitamins” Berocca…
Clearly a total rip of the OKGO video, Here is Goes Again. Did they pay for it? And does that make it okay even if they did. Lets let the Demigod Bill Hicks have the final word…
While you were dreaming about who to vote for in the London mayoral elections I got up extra early, travelled in the extravagant atmos of the underground tube and pissed in your London water.
Well it is official, readers of FHM magazine in the UK have put their loins together and declared that Megan Fox is the sexiest woman in the world. Others included: Elisha Cuthbert, Hayden Panettiere and the all-round Renaissance woman and philosopher Keeley Hazell.
I’m not so sure that I agree with them especially when I realised this shocking truth. Inspired by the optical illusions that you see below…
One way up it looks like an young woman, but when you turn it upside-down you see an old woman.
Here you might see a young woman looking away from you or you might see the profile of an old woman.
Now try the Megan Fox illusion I discovered whilst staring at the negative space between her features…
Looks like the Transformers star has been doing a bit of decepticon [sic] of her own.
Critical Acclaim for Barry and Stuart at Edinburgh 2008
"Barry and Stuart are pure Magic." The List "Hugely enjoyable, funny and engaging... This show deserves an award! The Stage "Ingenious and genuinely impressive... highly entertaining routine of quickfire magic and oddball comedy" Three Weeks Dark Vaudeville fr the 21st century" Metro "Brilliant. Just brilliant, and so much more as well... witty, tight, slick, clever, fun, incredible, mind-boggling, skilful welcoming and did I say brilliant?" ABC Edinburgh
