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barry Barry not Stuart. Often seen standing on the left hand side.

Will they ever stop?

After yesterday’s post about Coldplay…

Spot the difference:

The Ting Tings “Great DJ”.

Some advert from Mexico.

This reminds me of a story about Tom Waits who was approached by an advertising company to use one of his tracks in a commercial. He declined the offer so the advertisers ended up composing a track virtually identical to the one he wouldn’t let them use. Men who know about legal things started talking to each other.

via YTWWN

Coldplaaaaaay!

You should probably know if you don’t already that we have a strong interest in intellectual property. We have a great respect for people who come up with original ideas and an even stronger disrespect for people who steal or plagiarise them without consent (as seen here).

Which is why this story caught my attention recently: Coldplay’s single “Viva la Vida” is currently under investigation by suited men who know the law for its remarkable similarity to “If I Could Fly” by Joe Satriani.

Satriani is filing a copyright infringement suit against plaster wearing Chris Martin and his band of merry men and hopes to gain “any and all profits” attributable to the alleged copyright infringement.

If you want to compare the two for yourself you can hear the clips below:

Satanic Messages in Kids’ Cartoons

This explains everything! I now know who I am and why I do what I do. I bet you thought that Scooby Doo was on the side of rationality and scepticism? I mean, usually the immortal spirit was just a very mortal old man in a cheap Halloween costume.

The video is split up into multiple parts and the part where he examines He-Man in particular was of great interest to me.

I was a huge He-Man fan and to now discover the truth that I was being brainwashed into worshipping Satan and secretly being versed in the dark arts of levitation and astral projection just breaks my blackened heart.

Barry and Stuart the Musical

We have a brand new video online for those of you who didn’t manage to catch us at Edinburgh this year. In it we are young and out of tune. Enjoy!

The Times Edinburgh Feature

In The Sunday Times today is a feature about us and our Edinburgh show ‘Part-Time Warlocks’, the article can also be seen online here.

We Stick a Needle in the Eye

If you missed our live interview on Fresh-Air the other day you can listen to the podcast version of it here.

Stuart sticks a needle in his eye.

Pampered Puppy Poos

Seriously, carrying around a special bag for frozen dog turds? On their official site they claim that you can:

keep it under the sink for those occasions in which your pet has diarrhea or loose stool.”

The site even sells CD’s that will relax your pet and ease separation anxiety. I would have thought that having a CD on a loop for 8 hours whilst you go off to work would make a dog even more insane.

Scientists have not yet managed to find a cure for cancer but they have managed to work out how to freeze faeces and make decent pet owners spend money on dubious items. Be joyous!

Bring Back Capital Punishment?

A total lowlife scum of a human being crept into my building last night and had the cheek to steal my pedal bike. I’d only had the thing for six months!

They somehow broke the chain and just rode off with it in the middle of the night.

If you see an individual riding on a bike that looks like I should be riding it, please kick the urchin off, shout verbal abuse at him (do include the word guttersnipe – just to keep me happy) and then inform him that the bike has a special thumb-print handlebar recognition system, so that if he rides it another 10 metres the seat will fire two spikes directly upwards that are specially positioned to puncture the scrotum and anus respectively… That’ll teach him.

This cheered me up slightly though…

How to Avoid Tipping

Alan Abel: jazz musician, comedian and general prankster hates tipping waiters and waitresses in restaurants – even when the service has been fairly good. I must admit that being a Scotsman I do too, as these workers will surely at least be on the minimum wage. I don’t tip my doctor and he might save my life.

Alan suggests that to avoid such tipping embarrassment, you print off cards like the one below. You simply tick the box(es) to detail the reasons why you did not tip. Of course, it is more fun to not tick any of them and just keep them guessing.


tipping-card.jpg

Use it wisely… if you suspect that you may dine in the restaurant again then maybe you should think twice before risking having your food spat in during your next visit.

Bonus Tipping Bit:

There is an old joke in which you brazenly put your hand into the top pocket of a cab driver’s shirt or jacket, rustling a small packet whilst saying, “Have a drink on me”. It is only polite for the driver to wait until you have left his taxi before investigating what gratuity you have left him.

It is then he discovers that the rustling packet was actually a teabag.

Celebrity Freakshow

Roll up, roll up, behold the amazing freaks of nature I have in store for you. Straight from the hills of a distant place called Hollywood we have some of the strangest specimens your eyes will ever see. Marvel at their appearance, and behold the awesome differences between you and I. For only 6d you’ll have an experience you’ll never forget (and fellas, it’s a great place to take your date) it’s the one and only Celebrity Freak Show!

Corey Haim & Corey Feldman – The Pinhead Brothers

These specimens were found lying in a gutter after overdosing on lemonade and Read more