A total lowlife scum of a human being crept into my building last night and had the cheek to steal my pedal bike. I’d only had the thing for six months!
They somehow broke the chain and just rode off with it in the middle of the night.
If you see an individual riding on a bike that looks like I should be riding it, please kick the urchin off, shout verbal abuse at him (do include the word guttersnipe - just to keep me happy) and then inform him that the bike has a special thumb-print handlebar recognition system, so that if he rides it another 10 metres the seat will fire two spikes directly upwards that are specially positioned to puncture the scrotum and anus respectively… That’ll teach him.
This cheered me up slightly though…
3 Comments
are you saying [don’t even want to call them a person] stole your bike??
not that is darn right mean how it always happens to the nice people.
the messenger helped him!!
LOL - what a great video.
If you’re bringing back capital punishment, Cameron cycles without a helmet. It also may have been him, buoyed up by the bell sounds in Bicycle Race.
“then inform him that the bike has a special thumb-print handlebar recognition system, so that if he rides it another 10 metres the seat will fire two spikes directly upwards that are specially positioned to puncture the scrotum and anus respectively”
that cracked me up
and what a cheeky bastard to steal your bike!