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Roll up, roll up, behold the amazing freaks of nature I have in store for you. Straight from the hills of a distant place called Hollywood we have some of the strangest specimens your eyes will ever see. Marvel at their appearance, and behold the awesome differences between you and I. For only 6d you’ll have an experience you’ll never forget (and fellas, it’s a great place to take your date) it’s the one and only Celebrity Freak Show!

Corey Haim & Corey Feldman - The Pinhead Brothers

These specimens were found lying in a gutter after overdosing on lemonade and sherbet dib-dabs when I rescued them and saved them from their world of misery. Do not try to communicate with them, for one of them can only say the words “Lost Boys”. Both called Corey, the brothers spent their lives growing up with belts around their heads which resulted in their tiny brains. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Pinhead Brothers.

Keira Knightley - The Living Skeleton

Prepare yourselves for a sight that will be sure to turn even the strongest of stomachs. This specimen amazingly still lives even after removing all flesh and muscle from her entire body. What you see before you is Keira, the world’s first ever Living Skeleton.

Tom Cruise - The Smallest Man Alive

Boys and girls, we have here the real life Tom Thumb. He is the height of a small child and if you speak to him, you will also discover that he has the strange beliefs of a child too. Stare at him, for he is the Smallest Man Alive!

Joan Rivers - The Ageless Woman

Joan, the ageless woman, tried to turn back the sands of time on her appearance repeatedly, until the fateful day when she went back too far and transformed herself into the sight you see before you now. Be warned, what you see may disturb you.